Saturday, 5 May 2018
Self Protection as Self Rejection
In looking for an image that explains today's strangely named topic I came across this image. It speaks volumes to me of the prison that many times we are left in unaware of our jailer and more importantly, our own significance and power!
There are many times where Ego surfaces in our life to protect us. Ego's job, in part, is to protect us...if it has developed into a good, just, compassionate and caring parent within.
The problem is that, instead of being helped by our Ego, we are conditioned by it and our Ego has also rarely developed in full because it has been layered up with the beliefs and ideals of our Parents and beyond even them, down the family line.
But let's get back to self protection...
Self protection via the Ego is the kind that usually doesn't take risks. Ego, in this case, likes you just where you are thanks...even if it doensn't like you quite AS you are...but that's another story ;)
Ego will do it's best to hold you back from your truth if your truth looks scary; like a lot of hard work; like it's too risky; like you might get hurt; like you might fail; like you might be rejected etc etc AND ultimately like you might die. Ego is very afraid of death. Not particularly your actual death..but the fear of it's OWN self dying off and you waking up is very real to Ego and thus it will do whatever it can to stop that from happening.
So from here we can see that Ego believes that it is not only protecting you...it is protecting itself and it's HOST. The host being YOU.
Again, back to self protection ;)
Ego uses Self Protection as a way to hold you back but also it feeds a much deeper darker secret. Ego is using FEAR under the guise of self protection to also make you REJECT parts of yourself.
I'm always saying that Shadow holds many golden nuggets and this is because Ego aims to hide these gifts and talents and POWER in a place where you will never go looking!
Think about it!
It's the perfect place right? Hide your own gifts and amazingness from you in your own SELF REJECTION and you will most likely never find them.
Let me give you an example:
You are trained by your Parent's Ego that your sensitivity is "weakness". You learn that crying is NOT ok and you are unloveable in this state. You learn to hide your "weakness" and to put on a face that means even though you are bubbling inside, no one on the outside can see it.
Over time you adapt and become "stronger". You now see your impenetrability as a strength. The only emotion you allow is anger because you learned from your parents that this was allowed and so now other emotions, such as grief, anxiety or saddness are displayed in much the same way. Anger outbursts of emotion.
Your Ego's defence system is now on lock down. You inner child imprisoned within it's confines. The jailer is the Ego (and Ego of mum & dad or other caregivers) and the true you within it's prison.
The jailer goads you with REJECTION of the parts of you that are actually key talents and skills you have to use for your and others greater good in this lifetime.
Your inner jailer sounds like this...whenever you feel like crying, you berate yourself for being weak. Whenever your emotions are set to burst you project all over others for fear of being found out of being weak and afraid. Whenever your children cry you tell them "we don't do this"...and so the cycle repeats down the generations!
This is just one example but it's one that I'm sure you can see, has affected MANY people down the line. Men in particular...though there are generations of women who have been taught the same.
This is how Ego uses Self Protection as a way to diminish and REJECT the TRUE YOU and uses the lie of "you aren't worthy", "your too much", "you're weak", "you are ugly", "you aren't as good as", "you can't do it", "you're not capable", "you're a failure", "you'll never make it", "you'll never have it" which are all lines that prove that "you are ultimately un-loveable!"
Now you may be asking is there a way out of this?
The answer is a "HEAVEN YES" ;)
We have all been given FREE WILL. Now free will is talked about mostly negatively because Soul and Spirit can't make you wake up and most WILL chooses to stay asleep and believe the lie.
But here I want to introduce FREE WILL as a positive force.
Having free will means you have the ability to rise above Ego's conditioning and to escape the prison walls that hold you back. Let's face it, you can't be blamed, you were given the prison as a gift from a young age. You didn't know then that the only person holding the key that opens the door is YOU!
You believed what you were told about yourself. This lie became your own voice. It's hard to catch a voice that isn't yours when it sounds very much like you ;)
The key to unlocking you from this place is to cultivate a voice that diminishes the Egoic voice within.
You must retrain your mind to be your friend and reconnect to your body wisdom. The mind has become our cage over time and we have forgotten to connect with our hearts and to intuit with our guts. We aren't taught this language anymore but we MUST reclaim it!
Meditate; do Yoga; find tribe who connect with you on a higher level; fill your mind with Soul led books rather than watching the news; learn about your inner child and find out who you came into this life as; recollect the teachings of your parents and understand that there is a voice within that was never yours to begin with; clear yourself of any false beliefs and most importantly
QUESTION EVERYTHING YOU THINK!
Because consciousness always resides in the question. "Is that really true"; "Maybe something else is going on here what could that be?"; "Maybe it's not about me"; "What if I were capable"; etc etc
Ask yourself from a POSITIVELY charged mindset and cultivate this voice for your Soul voice will NEVER say anything bad about you. It's here to guide you to your GREATNESS and surely we all need a little bit more of that in our lives!
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and also book in with me if you would like some help on connecting to your inner child, releasing yourself from Egoic conditioning and cultivating a connection with your true Soul Voice!
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