This week we've been looking at conscious relationships in my Soul Circle and I've been sharing alot in Facebook in particular about the steps to becoming more conscious of the love that you choose.
I'd like to say that I learnt these steps easily but in reality I learnt through going through ALOT of pain and facing my deepest fears over and over again.
I choose poorly. I chose from a heart that desperately wanted to be met and a self that desperately wanted to be seen. I clung to a vision of a future that was never going to happen because I hung onto words instead of looking at actions.
I share this with you because I'm not the only one!
I know there are those of you out there who are, right now, doing exactly the same.
I know how scared you are and how alone you feel at times. I know how you want it to work and how much you have fought for it and battled within yourself for some kind of clarity or for
at the very least, you have begged the Universe to take the feeling away. The feeling of love you have for someone who simply cannot love you in the same way.
So I want to share with you some things that I learned during this time that may help you to reflect on whether or not you are living Consciously in love or living Unconsciously in wounds because the only thing that truly helped me to zap my power back into my body instead of giving it away was to really OWN my side of the story.
1. I had to be SUPER self reflective! - I had to really take a deep deep look into my subconscious and ask myself, even though I was super conscious in other areas of my life, why was
my love life showing up in this way? Why was I hooked? Why couldn't I let go? Why did I allow such emotional abuse in my life? What did I believe about myself that would allow this?
The answers that came up weren't always pretty ;) but they were very healing because TRUTH has a power all of it's own that cleans and clears the way back to self.
Truth has a frequency that our human version of Romantic Love cannot match and Truth became my saviour.
As I'm always saying "Consciousness is in the question" meaning that when you
choose to become aware you start to ask better questions and those deeper questions can only ever lead to the truth.
2. I called out to the Universe - In the midst of deep pain I asked to be shown all of the ways of un-love that I allowed into my world and I asked to be shown the truth. I no longer wanted
to let love blind me or fear block me. I'd had enough of my own bullshit!
I begged to wake up and to never go back to sleep again. And so she delivered. I was shown many truths I'd previously denied within myself and more situations occurred where I had to witness the falsehood that I'd been living in.
Many people came to me with information I perhaps wouldn't have been open to
previously. When you ask...you will always be shown.
3. I stepped up - I realised my inner child was at play many times I felt stuck. I realised that I was ignoring her and had been ignoring loving me for the sake of loving another. I ignored myself
for the sake of the relationship. That sounds hillarious as I type because you can see how deliberately unconscious I was making myself for the sake of "love". And so I had to parent myself.
I had already cultivated a Soul Voice. For those who don't know what that is, it's a voice within you that is deeply compassionate and knowing. An archetypal Parent within so to speak.
She spoke to me gently and with empathy but also with force when I needed. It's just before, though I heard that voice within, somewhere inside I was like a child hiding in a cupboard afraid of what might be lurking outside.
I had to realise that I had nothing to be afraid of anymore and that it was ok to fully be me again. The child within had to make a choice to trust me and since I'd made poor choices it's not wonder that
needed some work and time to embody.
4. I was tested - The Universe delivered and now I had to stand for myself no matter what. I don't mean I had to go out and shout to the work about my emotionally abusive relationship like
that would heal me.
I now was asked to stand for who I truly am and to do the work that I'd been called to do for years but had been thwarted by a relationship that blocked me. I was given other chances to show the powers that be that I was ready and that I wasn't going to be side tracked anymore.
No more being a side-line in someone else's life. Instead I was going to be fully present in mine.
The relief was and still is indescribable. I feel that only those who have been through some kind of abusive relationship where you can't do anything right will truly know how that feels!
5. I had to burst the bubble - A friend of mine told me once he watched a live stream of mine and funnily, or synchronistically, it was the first one where I'd ever mentioned something that physically
happened to me in that relationship.
My friend felt that it showed I was still attached somehow to that story. I am..as I've said...self reflective so at first I felt a bit of anxiety around that.
Was I indeed still linked to that shit? But as quickly as I asked the question my Soul said no, it's not attachment it's honouring.
You see, whatever happens to us we MUST honour or we will have a repeat of the situation and I knew that my honouring was to share with others my story so that it may help them. Now that said, I hadn't yet fully come out and said most of what I needed to say...in fact, I am only just doing so...not to upset anyone else but to help heal those who aren't yet aware or strong enough to step up for themselves.
So...as you can see...speaking your truth is a journey and learning to speak it consciously is an up-levelling but I share this with you because I KNOW that when you do you will feel your power and your SOUL line up within, behind and around you in support!
The truth will ALWAYS come out... I truly believe this...so be determined not to hide and not to shy away from any lies that lay within you. Any untruths you believe about yourself. Any way you diminish your beauty and any love that is less than you truly deserve as a Conscious King or Queen.
Be the light to the world that you deserve to be and do your inner work. Then and only then are you ready for Conscious Love because you love yourself so completely that no toxic version will do!
If you need any help with Conscious love or connecting to your truth please get in touch with me. It's my mission to help others step into their Soul and reconnect to the lost parts of themselves!
Message me at firstname.lastname@example.org with where you are at love...anytime! <3 p="">